Returning from PHL

This past weekend (03/06-03/08) I had a wonderful weekend in Phl with me roomie and Sha-none. Phl was wow. Disney… Yes, Disney’s Magic penetrated me. While walking through Epcot I was captivated by the joy and wowness that is Disney. Mind you, I have become very disinterested in most anything Disney movie related over the past decade. Few films created and released by Disney held my interest. The format movie turned me off. But this… this feeling that overcame me was beautiful. I was teary eyed walking through the park. Yup, caught me off guard and I allowed it to seep in. It felt wonderful. Honestly, I want more. Heh. I’m lucky enough to know I’ll be able to too – in about 10 days. Hello Mickey. Hey Goofy, my mudda says hey hey hey! Jack Skelington… You rock! I’m so excited. Whoda thunk it.

On another note. I saw someone I haven’t seen in about a year. Someone that got lost along the way. Happily she’s found a path that suits her and she’s persuing it with the utmost desire. It was such a wonderful thing to see. Me roomie and I agreed that someone we knew was back in her prior form. Happy, energetic, selfless, etc… It’s amazing what time alone does to oneself. It’s hard to see such happiness and not be able to go through it with her, but it’s all the better to be able to know that she IS happy.

We did have a long talk or two about many things and opened a few doors that we’d knocked on before. Before I think we were hoping to have an understanding or an answer behind the door, but instead walked away and didn’t return to learn anything. Instead this time we didn’t hold back on any punches… And it was good. Are things fixed and mended and back to the way they were before? No. But we had a great weekend and are looking forward to having some more time to be able to spend together. This makes me smile.

All the while I do have fear of certain things happening again. Distance can play havoc on people’s emotions and their state of mind. I’m cautious of seeing the same things that have happened over the past year somehow repeating. Also I don’t know when, after this next trip, we’ll see each other again because of our lives. Yup, yup, yup. Rille just said to me on the phone something to the effect of ‘they (emotions) makes life worth living’. She’s a smart one she is. Whether they’re good or bad, it does make life worth living.

All in all, I’m looking forward to tomorrow, and I’m looking forward to the day after. Yes. I need to get myself back on the happy path myself. It’s great to see happiness, but having happiness… That’s what matters. I’d like to thank a few people that helped me to realize this since I returned from Phl: Avenga, Emma, & Mudda. Three very important people in my life that I would be saddened to lose. This of course is not to say that nobody else helped me, they just happened to have been open to listening to me rant and ramble on over many an issue. Thank you all three of you. = ) Now? Now I go to find the sleep world. Oyasumi.

03-11-2004 12:37 am

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