Typically that’s a good thing but at this moment it’s quite sad. September appears to be a bust and I’m Hanging Tough with Cali ñ the cat. She’s extremely needy. Meooow ñ look over here. Meoooow ñ I’m brushing against you so pet me. Meooow ñ I’m right next to you so pet me more. Oh and this is my favorite… Meow ñ I AM… So pet me.

Oh my, oh my. The fun life that a cat has is so… rough. = P September appears to be a bust thanks to the bank and it appears that October has a rain date slated for December. Oy. I’m not 100% sure yet but that may be a Red Sun holiday for me. Honto desu. Demo… However, nothing is set in stone so I’ll bite my tongue, not sure how hard yet, and let it all take a ride Thelma and Louis style ñ if need be.

I get to sleep in tomorrow. Will I? I can’t say that I know yet ñ duh. But I do know my tummy is a lil bit icky and that’s just poo. So with all my higher than thou speak I’m going to run my head through a blender to see if I have any blue blood. I’ve been assured I’ll know RIGHT away. Oyasumi grey matter juice. 08-14-2004 ——— 11:42 pm 11:42 pm 08-14-2004 ———

171 GARYPLOSKI Deep Inside It’s a feeling we all feel at times. That something that screams from the inside. Normally we ignore it. Normally we tie it up, burry it away and expect it to fade into nothingness. This, creeping crawling, whisper in our ear that speaks to us when we least expect it. It’s there now. It’s just silent.

So why do we ignore it. Honestly, I don’t care why others avoid it. I am not avoiding it. I’m listening cautiously. My inner me is worried, scared, nervous about someone. I feel as though I need to be vague in case I’m wrong. Or worse… In case I’m right. Hmm. Inner voices are sketchy things damn them.

It speaks in our own voice but is it speaking a fear (of our own) or a fear (of something else). We all battle our inner demons and then instead of meeting them head on we choose to drop em right into other’s laps. Aren’t we nice. Eff that. No more. I’m listening.

On another note. While house sitting and watching a movie (the movie is irrelevant) I heard a noise. I went to find the noise and heard Cali (the cat) hissing. I approached and saw a raccoon outside the glass doors. Then I saw a second and a third… I turned on the lights and VOILA! There were five, count em up ichi, ni, san, shi, go, roku!, outside the door. After rapping on the door with my fingers and fist for a minute or so they finally left the porch. Brave lil suckaz. And the cat holding down the fort hissing away. Crazy lil thing.

Rock. Time to put this machine to bed. No, not the PC. My brain feels like goo after work today. Not that I like talking about work but it affected me a great deal today and I’m not too pleased by the idea of being home and having it ugh me. Next in line… tomorrow. = )

08-17-2004 01:15 am