January 1998 – email13

A most emotional night….  The country finally influenced me to do something I would never consider doing. It is done. I can do nothing about the past…. but I can do something about the future. I’ve got to do something about the future. As of today (2/8/98) it is official that I will be attending Japanese classes in Ikebukuro. : )

From: Gary Ploski                       1/26/98 22:59
Subject: hi babe…
To: April Harvey

Thanks for the call. I HONESTLY had the strangest feeling when I walked in and saw the light blinking… I thought “hmmph that would be cool if that was Rille.” BAMMMM That’s exactly who it was. Thanks babe.
        I have to be honest with you and myself. I was anything but brave tonight. Cowardly would be the better, more correct. I went to san-chu to do Iaido — not knowing if there would be practice or not. I got there and waited for about 2-3 minutes and thought, because someone was always there before 7, “Huh.. I guess there isn’t practice. No lights, no cars. Guess there isn’t practice.” So I was on my way out of the parking lot and a car was going towards the school.
        I wondered quickly “I wonder if that’s the guy in charge of Iaido. Hmmm, I wonder.” It was already 7:10 at this point, so I thought that it couldn’t be, but as I was riding away I saw the lights go on in a building, which I believe was the place where we practice all the time. I didn’t go check ’cause of various reasons…… Language, I feel like I’m not getting anything out of it only once a week, I wanted to finish (at least work on) the album, write to a few people, etc…
        After I got back I was very upset with myself and did MAD MAD MAD push-ups and crunches. It felt good, but didn’t get rid of the idea that I could have been at Iaido. I just feel like I can’t get what I want out of it. I’m looking for an Iaido book tonight while we chat.. that might be a reason I delay in responding but I’ll do my best to keep up with ya. I want a book to explain what to do. The guys don’t speak English and I don’t speak Japanese. It makes me very hesitant to go to the practices because I don’t understand them and vice versa. AHHH!H!!! I want to learn this stuff, so I need a resource thang.
        So as you can see this bothered me this evening. It took about 3 hours for it to go away. I don’t like regret. It’s such a bad thing in my opinion. I want to go, but I want to practice more often — once a week is a joke and a half. What can you honestly learn in one hour and 30 mins a week? ANSWER: very little. Even if I understood I’d need to practice on my own to get better in any reasonable time. DO you agree?
        I reallllllllllllllllllllllllllly hope I can find something in English tonight. I will have it sent to me ASAP! It will allow me to go to Iaido and take the little bit I learn from them and apply it to the book… “ohhh so that’s what he meant. I get it now! OHHH cool, that feels much better than how I was doing it.. cool” — a thought expression that might happen if I get the book.
        I feel better now. I did 2 more pages front and back. I’m really happy with the second, even though there are very very few pictures, actually I don’t think there are any…. Just some stuff which I’ve had on my shelf and decided to put into the album… like my poem and some comic like things that AET’s drew regarding their life as an AET. One is FUNNY and the other is just awe-inspiring.. I reallly like that(the later) one.
        It’s juuuuust about 11 and my computer started to beep at me. I’m gonna plug it in and go online and hopefully you’ll be online. At this point of reading this email I may have found the book and ordered it,,,, who knows. This was pretty long. I feel even better now since I typed this…Thanks for reading and listening babe. ahhhh. Here’s the honestly thing coming out I think. Yup, i think. TOU lots!!!! ciao cito

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