July 13, 2010

35mm candle bulbs

Today is July 13th and this blog should go live at 10:53 but I’ve set it for 12:01. That’s for you mudda. 😉 This date and time is significant to a number of people but most importantly… To me. This moment marks a new era in my life.

It’s been 5 years since I shaved my hair for the first time. 😉

Some other things that have happened recently or are about to include…

  • Completing the process of straightening my teeth after nearly a decade of random nerve pain due to impacted wisdom teeth crowding my lower teeth together. Breathing and eating will no longer send random shocks of pain through my jaw and body.
  • Therefore… Headshots are finally on my calendar!
  • My health is great according to my doc. I’ve added some Vitamin D3 to my daily routine to improve my levels a bit. How will it help? We’ll see.
  • I know what my next steps will be in my career and passions.
  • I will reach my 8 year anniversary at Sarah Lawrence College in October.
  • emma and I celebrated our 5th year at 1101.
  • My web series has reached its second season.
  • I’m co-producing a feature film about the struggles of working and pursuing a personal passion based in CT.
  • and… In general, things are going well. =D

Well, that felt awkward to write. It feels strange for me to do that kind of thing. I wish it didn’t.

So, what happened?!

Seriously. What happened? I don’t know, truly. I do know that things have been going well the past few years but didn’t recognize that they had become what they are today.

I’ve been meeting some amazingly accomplished and intelligent people online (thanks to Twitter!) and in-person. I consider myself to be very lucky and hope to continue down this fortuitous path. I expect future hardships but will hope that there are more positive (learning, shared, etc.) experiences than negative.

I understand why people halve mid-life crises. I do. I shouldn’t yet. If this age is my mid-life, bummer, at least I’ll have a whole bunch of years ahead of me! But back to the mid-life stuff.

With all of these positive things happening I still find myself struggling in my life. It feels like questions constantly rattle around in my mind lately:

  • Where will emma and I live next – city, suburbs, rural? Which state?
  • How good/bad will I be as a teacher? Can I successfully incorporate tech into theatre classes?
  • Child? Children?
  • How do I balance personal goals & emma/Plosk goals?
  • Am I happy – in my job, on stage, etc.? Have I pushed too hard for too long?
  • Am I slacking off too often?
  • Can I fit soccer back into my life)
  • Will I drop the ball on CAST TO CURTAIN?

All in all… I consider myself a lucky human being. I’m healthy. I’m married to an amazing human being and have two incredibly kind kittens at home. I have a supportive friends, and family. I’m succeeding in a career and a passion.

And on this day I succeeded in another trip around our sun.

I’m happy. But I also know the race isn’t finished yet. It could end tomorrow and I believe I’ve accomplished a great deal. I ask you to understand, if you can, that I doubt myself at times. I do my best to go on but sometimes falter. Your words of encouragement and support help me more than I can say in words. But let me try.

To you, reading this, please accept a heart felt domo arigato gozaimasu (thank you).

It’s because of you that this day rings out as a celebration! Without you it’d just be me.

image source

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