Not Getting Married Today!

Strap yourself in. This is one hell of a ride and it’s not short like any of those rides at the park. 3… 2… 1…

Early October
We’re getting married. It’s planned. January 7, 2006. It’s booked at the B&B (Inn at Stockbridge) and we both agree that it’s time to start hunting for certain particulars. Namely:

1 dress
1 suit
1 antique ring
1 ring I’ll actually wear

Already in place or in process are the following:

  • Bed and Breakfast reservations for us, me mudda, pop and lin, and the rents over at 21. Check.
  • A Justice of the Peace has advised us of the process. We are working on tweaking the ceremony.
  • We have planned a day to head up to MA to get our license. It must be obtained with 60 days of the ceremony.
  • Theresa and Mark are in the loop. Plans to have friends up to the lake house for a surprise, dinner, and a skiing outing are in the pipeline. Check.
  • All the rents have been advised that we are doing something for them for xmas on 1/7 & 1/8 so their schedules are free. Check.

Right. So. This is not going to be easy. A ring… Me?! Un-huh. Let the games hunt begin!



THE suit and THE dress have been found. Too bad the dress costs more than $6,000! Steeee-rike! Sigh. Sometimes ya get lucky, sometimes you need to phone a friend. Neither worked out to our liking. Alas. Happily the suit was very reasonably priced and that kicks us off to a fast start – 25% checking in. Ding.



Emma’s ring has been found and it’s on reserve. Emma has been hunting for days now and has not been able to take her eyes off of this ring. So after a short discussion she has put it on hold. Sweet. Let’s bump that Complete-o-Meter up a notch…



In the early AM emma received an email from asking if we’d purchased the ring yesterday. That couldn’t happen because we’re Internet-less at home. = ( So sad I know. So, I got on the phone, gave her my AMEX info and within minutes I received a confirmation email that the charge had gone through. All was well. Or so we thought.

Grr! Jan from thought I was trying to pull a fast one because the address on my friggin AMEX member points didn’t match my actual billing address. This was a fault of AMEX’s. After many tears shed by both emma and I and after hours of phone calls her ring is now… Not. Back we go to 25% we go. This is not how this process is going to continue. We both agree that each of these four purchases should be complete and utter bliss/excitement! Damn you You had my money and AMEX was cool with things. Damn you for not calling the number AMEX provides to you to confirm orders not the number a customer gives you. I gave her the number on my bill. This was, apparently, the member’s benefit line. Sigh. This was a simple resolution but the ball was dropped in GA. What a horrible day it turned out to be.


Hella surprising day in the city. I tried on at least 5-6 rings that I actually liked a bit. None of the rings really spoke to me though. If that’s even possible. Um… I’m striking that actually. (adds the strike code) Right. BUT, there is a but. Near the end of our never ending day of meeting nice people. We found… my THE ring. The one ring. Yes, to rule them all. How? It was a fluke. I was crawling around in this cave and saw this thing glimmer of light… Okay so maybe it was a street in New York and maybe it was across the street from Animazing Gallery. And maybe I already said that we were in the city. (adds strike code to the reader’s memory) Across the street from emma’s old place of employment. The store? Niwaka. O-M-G! What brilliantly unique rings. Watatsumi (Peace and Prosperity) is the name of my ring. )insert sound of Homer dreaming about doughnuts( I am in such anticipation to wear this ring. Japanese company. Whoa. Hand made in Kyoto. Whoa! I actually want to wear a ring. WHOA!

On emma’s front, toward the end of the day, when she was feeling utterly defeated due to my completion of the search, we walked into a store and learned of a huge antique jewelry sale taking place this Saturday on the Chelsea Piers. Ch’ching! here we come. We were advised that it’s huge and that we’ll find a massive variety of jewelry. Come-on-lucky-7!Complete-o-Meter

It took a last ditch effort idea on the way home last night – “Have you considered calling to see if the dress has been reduced again?” to dig up this astounding day. Emma called and found out the dress had been marked down – again. The sales rep had wanted to call but there was no number available because we walked out due to the exorbitant price. It got even better! I suggested that she ask to have the price dropped a bit more because we know she needs to have some tailoring done to tighten the back. Any luck? Oh yes. Oh yes. Try 10%. Never hurts to ask. And now the dress search matters not because it’s hanging in the bedroom in a pretty long black bag.


Stellashows… Thank you. Thanks you. Thank YOU! Rather. Mr. Donald Burett from “Gold Leaf” out of Atlanta thank YOU sir. A kind man that has been selling antiques for over a decade offered to us a beautiful 1920’s ring at a phenomenal price. What does this mean? Sk-ore! We did it. In 7 days we found and purchased the three most difficult items. All day I was blessed with a variety of the same question… “Want to see my ring?” Each time followed up with the biggest smile. Wanna see it on my index finger? On your pinky finger? )smile( What a great feeling to be able to sit on the other side of the table and see the girly’ness come through. It’s in a box next to me as I write. A 1920’s filigree ring was desired and a 1920’s filigree ring was found.

I’m still in awe that we accomplished the hunt so quickly. 7 days ago we were begging someone to sell us a ring. Eff that. We learned our lesson. She was shady and the credit back to my credit card proves it. Instead, we found a 1920’s filigree ring and bought it at wholesale price. Mamm’mia!

Neither of us could have asked for a better anniversary gift. Hammina. Hammina. And to think, last night we had one of the most difficult discussions we’ve ever had due to a show I’ve been cast in and emma had no interest in shopping at all last night. Effective, clear communication. Looking to the meter I see a new number…


Revisiting the needs for 1/7…
Tweak Create the ceremony to our liking.
Plan a day to get our license in MA.
Find a videographer (newly added to the table)

I’m home and figured ‘what the hey, i’ll sign on to adium’ Within 20 minutes he signed online. During the chat at 10:59 he said “off courese i will be there for you!” “no choice no choice!”

Kazi is well known for seeing into people like no one else I know. So, I decided to ask him a very difficult question:

11:21:06 AM gp: kazi. i respect your opinion like non other so i want to ask you this…
11:21:26 AM kazi: what?
11:21:29 AM gp: in my heart i feel completely right in wanting to marry ali.
11:21:49 AM gp: what do you think of this sudden news? honestly.
11:22:06 AM kazi: i have no suprised
11:22:19 AM gp: = ) yea?!
11:22:34 AM kazi: when i met with her first time
11:23:42 AM gp: my grin is so so so large right now. you’re not the only one to say that. theresa, my aunt, said she knew a year ago that ali and i would get married.
11:23:43 AM kazi: i thought she will marry with you even you she was not your girlfried
11:25:31 AM gp: you are an amazing person kazi
11:25:36 AM gp: truly amazing
11:28:03 AM gp: you’re coming. i’m in a state of shock.
11:29:11 AM kazi: i think she can give you what you need

Things just keep getting better and better. With Matt and Viv on their way back from NYC I should get dressed or at least put on some clothing. Whoohoo!

Update: Matt and Viv are now in the loop. = )

Spoke with Tree about fam and who should and shouldn’t be invited. Brain squish over and over with new ideas and input from different points of view that have many a valid point. What came of the convo I ask myself? A few more people are now added to the list and emma had a sleepless night because she had to mull over the details. The number has grown and the ceremony has changed a bit but it is still in ‘control’ happily. We’re looking at about 25 guests (+/- 3).

Emma’s rents were brought into the loop. Her pop didn’t move or say anything for a good 4 minutes. Her mom jumped right in and started planning things and talking the talk as though she were in on everything already. He has had the most profound reaction to the news so far. Granted very few people have been told but I honestly believe that it will be pretty much impossible to top.

mudda had little reaction to the news since she knew I planned on proposing to emma. She reminded me that I said something to her back before emma and I started looking for an apartment. Neat. = o

jacek didn’t remember saying he’d be bummed out if emma and i broke up but he received the news a mere hour or so after the mudda was given the heads up. After I said I wasn’t down with the whole party thing he mentioned that we’d have to do something. I countered with “let me know what you’re thinking and we can figure it out.”

On the way to CT emma called meg and told her we wanted to speak with her in the am. She got worried that we wanted to tell something bad because of the slightly sketchy phone call made. It sounded something like “we’d like to talk to you about something. can you stop by tomorrow?” When we finally told her she began to think of how she could make it to the ceremony. Sadly she’s scheduled to be in FL for a training session for the crew team at UCONN.

bt was at first surprised. He very much thought I was kidding when I told him. It came off as a joke with seriousness glued on. He did what I’d expect from bt, he wanted to make sure this wasn’t a shotgun style wedding. Nope, we’ve thought it through and through I think his concerns are/will be alleviated as time moves forward. It was a bit of a bummer that he wasn’t excited and then inquisitive but that how things went.

People… We have no intention of slipping between the cracks and letting friends go. No, no, no, no, NO! This is not a good bye ceremony at all. Thanks for the Devil’s Advocate style questions. It’s awesome knowing you (bt) are thinking of me in the future. Know this… I haven’t lost site of our dream bt. The History Campaign must, needs, be brought to the masses. Must. Needs.

Big drama as mudda and tree came down to NY to “discuss” the list of people invited to the ceremony. emma’s pop joined in on the grand’ol convo. What was the major issue? Miscommunication. Also, personal desires. Person A wants this and Person B wants this and Person C wants to know when the clock is going to strike 4 o’clock. It’s that kind of fun that is planning a ceremony. My opinion on the whole ordeal/event… Eff it. Scrap the numbers and do the ABSOLUTE bare minimum. What’s that mean? 15 peoples

my side: mudda, dad, lin, gram, honey, alice, brian, jacek, kaz
emma’s side: mum, dad, alleda, dan, mag, keith, lori, nan, helen, judy, rachel

total: 20

Will it stay like that? Who friggin knows. Have things been misinterpreted by so many a’folk. Oh HELL yea. Small = good. Input = frustrating. Family not thinking/allowing/remembering that you have a mind of your own that you use to base decisions = ARRRRRRGH!

Decisions are hard but I believe this to be the last one regarding the ceremony.

End of line.

My mind is holding firm with my decision (noted above). This weekend should be interesting.

After rehearsal emma and I went to CT and saw: gram, brian, kathy, dad, lin, honey, donna, donny, and kevin. Phew! All went well and nearly everyone said the same thing “Do what you want to do. It’s your day.” Obviously that’s the royal you since it was the both of us talking the talk.

emma’s pop, emma, and i visited the stockbridge inn and the red lion inn to get a better feel of the space at both facilities. It was decided to use the side room for the ceremony and the Hitchcock Room for cocktail and dinner. Suh-weet! It was one HELL of a weekend. Far too much driving but it’s good to have the rest of the planning all nearly completed.

I’ve been telling so many people now that the word is out. My co-workers, my boss, kristy m, evynne, and finally steph c! We told her in while standing in the organic section of S&S. Sad… a little. The truth of the matter is it’s been a wee bit difficult reaching her. She’s so damn busy with her pups. Hey lil puppy.

With approximately 1 day to go before this is made entirely public I need to call a few people. All of whom live on the other side of the country. I’m bummed I haven’t been in touch with them yet but things in proximity fall into high priority. Must needs call them tomorrow or during the day Friday.

monika guessed with the help of a few words in an email I sent her – good news and pi. “Well if the hint was 3,2, 1 I’d say Happy New Year! But 1,2,3 can only mean two things! You got a puppy or you got her a ring! 1,2,3 …Pi definitley means ring. Am I right?” Way to be mon! Smart people rock.

We shoveled out the car, went to pick up the last person that needs to know. The conversation went like this after we got back to the apartment. (side note – we placed two books about marriage on the kotatsu (heated table) in the living room) Alice sat down and said to emma:
So what’s the big news? (beat) )reading a title of one of the books( Marriage Ceremonies? (beat) Are you getting married?! (beat – looks at emma and i. emma smiled.) Ahhhhhhh! I’m gonna hug you (emma)!

With a lunge forward Alice’s chin met with emma’s sholder and they laughed while Alice screamed and gushed and smiled. Everything is in place now. She’s happy. Our worries about adding hurt because of her present situation.

And now you, and you, and you, you and you are in the loop. Thanks for

1 Comment

  1. Congrats on getting married, I hope that you are very happy together and wedding planning stuff doesn’t get too crazy. I really am happy for you, I hope you believe that- this just proves to me that things happen for a reason, that it all works out the way it should because I know how happy I am in my own life and this shows how happy you are with yours. Even though I never met Ali, I think I knew somewhere that this would be how it worked out- just the little I know about her (not much I know) you seem like you were meant to be…. again congrats

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