Senate Bill Outlawing My Name

Bush No Gary SignOkay. I’ve pissed off a number of people over the years. It’s bound to happen in 31 years and 364 days on this tiny little planet we call home. I had no idea my actions were as far reaching as they appear to be. President Bush (pic to the right) wants me gone. Thanks for the story link BT.

I may not agree with the W but icing me? Come on man. Let’s talk this out a bit first huh? Next thing I know I’ll be forced to chang aof vi;b HB ie yfbeiot ekbegGGBEIB E>KabbGwam, (muffles manage to slip through the screen your reading… then… silence. a moment later)

<deep voice> Sorry about that my peeps. (whispers – though loud enough for everyone in Arizona to hear) does he write like that? (from off screen) just wrap it up and make it look like everything is normal alright?

Yea. Sorry about that my peeps. I’m going. To. Get… to work. And don’t click the read more thing below. TTFN.

Original link

Senate Bill Outlawing Name ‘Gary’ Nears Passage

WASHINGTON (CAP) – A new bill that would make it illegal for any U.S. citizen to go by the name ‘Gary’ has received passage by the Senate Permanent Subcommittee On Cognomen Investigations, paving the way for approval by the full Senate later this month.

“It’s time to move forward with what we should have been doing when this bill was originally introduced in 1986,” said Sen. Norm Coleman (R-MN). “Lord knows the countless Garys who have been born and named since then who by right should be somebody else.”

The bill passed through the House of Representatives by nearly a five-to-one margin and is expected to achieve approval in the Senate in similar fashion. President Bush is then expected to sign the bill into law later this year, which includes the variant forms: Gari, Garey, Garrey, Garrie and Garry.

“The key issue here is that Gary is just a stupid name,” said Porter Creapeau, chairman of the Partnership For A Gary-Free America, “I mean, let’s be honest – Gary? Who’s going to take you seriously if your name is Gary? This law should have been passed a long time ago.”

If the bill becomes law, citizens named Gary will have until 11:59 p.m. on December 31, 2007 to legally change to a new first name of their choice. Should no active election be made, the bill dictates that all remaining Garys be re-assigned the name Butch.

“Butch is a guy you don’t want to mess with,” said Sal Jenkins, founder of the popular website “Butch kicks Gary’s ass.”

Meanwhile, the city of Gary, Indiana is taking some preliminary measures and accepting ideas from residents for a new name. Leading candidates so far are New Butch, Yrag and Craptown.

1 Comment

  1. Mail call in the internment camps should be interesting.

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