Moments after the movie ended I turned and looked at emma. “So?” I asked. Her response… “Enh.”

<SPOILERS>

After waiting online for 1 hour, checking in our phones, meeting Joe Quesada, and cheering to the Marvel logo I was ready, SO ready, to laugh, smile, cheer, and everything else Spider-Man 2! Yes, I met Joe Quesada. Marvel EIC (editor in chief)! Could the night have started any better?! Well, the line wasn’t fun, but no matter, we sat in theatre 1 (of 14) showing the latest addition to the Spidey movie series.

2.5 hours later… “Enh.”

Spider-Man 3 is a very pretty movie. Yup, they spent a good deal of time making sure the movie looks good. But that’s not what makes a movie great. Story, Spidey has plenty of that on the books, makes the world go round. Where was it in this film? Well, that’s something I’ve been trying to figure out.

Okay, the movie is not great; it’s not horrible. The characters weren’t the characters and the story, well, it skimmed the surface. The struggle within? The struggle within?! Where was it? The audience doesn’t get to experience the struggle within. Instead we watch Peter go through the motions of mean (passive aggressive), then mean(er), then he accidentally removes the symbiote (suit)

He’s a scientific genius! Where was the mental struggle to figure out how to remove the symbiote? Instead Spidey swings and punches at everything. When that doesn’t work… He tries with the other fist or foot. Yea! That’ll do it. The character is smarter, much smarter, than that.

Strategy in a fight. Spidey uses, let’s hear it, humor. Spidey is FUNNY and drives villains nuts! Spider-Man 1 upset me because this was left out. Spider-Man 2 made me smile often. Spider-Man 3 brought me back to 1. Where’d the funny go?! Bye bye wit.

Let’s not forget one of the other unique abilities Spidey has! His Spidey sense? )cricket cricket( Um… Hello? I think someone forgot to include that little detail when the script was created. Yea. That’s, well, sort of, how to put it, important.

Humor… ste-rike one.
Spidey Sense… strike twoooo.

I didn’t care about Peter at all. Mary Jane, she gets beat down hard core, and I truly felt bad for her. Their relationship is so strong that a new girl, cough – Gwen – cough, just doesn’t fit into the mix. Peter wants MJ. MJ wants Peter. Anything else is forced. Oh wait, that’s exactly what it felt like. Pete is flying high while MJ is crumbling. Um…

Everyday guy persona I can relate to… strike three! Y’r outta heeeeeere!

The baddies! Oh yea! Uh… Nah. Let’s go back to the beginning for everyone! The new Green Goblin and Sandman. Let’s see how they become super in their own ways. Here’s what is not needed – seeing Harry in the chamber breathing in gas like his dad to gain super strength. Sandman becoming the Sandman. It was absolutely astonishing watching the Sandman take his first steps but it didn’t help the story in anyway whatsoever. Neither scenes mentioned did anything for the story.

Hella rockin visuals. Really. Many a wow for the eyes. I didn’t really care about Eddie Brock (Venom) but Sandman (Flint Marko) was interesting. Did I want to care about the Sandman… No. He’s a two bit crook that has this odd power. He wants money and isn’t very bright. In Spidey 3 so much more is added that just isn’t important. Let’s not forget that the the ‘original’ Uncle Ben killer was dealt with in Spider-Man 1. Oh no wait, that was a MISTAKE that cops didn’t say anything about. Bah.

It didn’t feel like Rami enhanced his storytelling abilities and instead he him fell back on old tricks. Swinging through the streets felt the same. Remember the powerless Spidey in #2? Wait till you see the way empowered Spidey is handled in #3. It’s cute but that’s about all.

A weak script and used directing techniques with too much money left this Spidey in blah land. And so emma’s “Meh.” at the end of the film explains the film in the fewest words possible.

</SPOILERS>

The event itself was wild as I mentioned at the top of this review. It was a great experience. The after party was pretty interesting. About 10 PS3’s with Spidey 3 loaded up were in the main entrance. Inside 80’s tunes played, for a long while, and people sang and grooved. Robert Duval was chatting with James Franco in the middle of the room and all the peons, me!, sat/stood around eating and drinking enjoying the merriment that was free food and drink.

Sadly the movie wasn’t the highlight. Alas. I got to meet Joe Quesada though! HOLY COOL!!!!! He was so entirely down to earth.

Quick summary…
See this movie at a matinee price. It’s a pretty movie that lacks the heart, soul, and fun of Spidey 2.