I’ve realized that a radio wave is the best visual I could give someone to describe my present state of being. Why? Well, today proved it to me. I hit an AMAZING LOW today by missing a ball that just CRIED out to be slammed. I missed! Whiffff! Casey at the bat. Steeeeeerike one and two. It was THAT bad.

Moments later I hit a ball so hard and so well that I was commended by someone that is the definition of consistent. His face said it all… = O Followed by a “Wow. That was the best hit you’ve ever had.”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Can’t control myself! At work… the same thing. At home… repeat. If I go out… GRUMBLE GRUMBLE GRUUUUMBLE! YIMMMINY! Something inside me is stirring and I’m not sure what it is.

Job = All good
Social life = It works
Sleep = Not a problem
Health = Oh yea, pfff, easy-easy-easy

So what is it… I can’t say I have an answer damn it! It’s very frustrating though. I feel like I’m listening to a discussion to bulldozer a house even though it won’t exist in a few minutes anyway thanks to a interstellar highway.

I do, fortunately, feel ABLE to write about it now though. Over the past week or two every time I’ve gone out I’ve been up AND down within extremes. WTF! What was I turning into? An emotional wheel? Fah-that! I feel good. Rather, I feel better. I feel able and I think, ME willing, I feel able. = D

06-10-2004 02:41 am

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