You're How Old?!

I look young. It’s one of those things that simply is. I like it. In fact, I’ve enjoyed it since I recognized what age meant. The appearance of age that is. I didn’t care about being 21… I didn’t drink at the time. When I turned 21… I didn’t care but I knew my license verified my age. Age… yadda, yadda, yadda.

Last night someone thought I was 21. She had ‘shock face’ when I said my actual age, 31. It is possible that she was confused because i was running around playing soccer for a while. Maybe it was the fact that I had shaved earlier that morning. Those who know me know that when I shave I lose a few years to my appearance.

All of this is fun. The frustrating issue relates to marriage. Because both emma and I look young we are ‘educated’ by more seasoned couples on what marriage ‘really’ is and what may happen. Not all couples do this but more often than not it seems to happen. Last night was one such occasion.

We were advised many things by a couple that have 15+ years behind them. I’m not sure why, possibly jealousy or frustration or something else entitely, I don’t know, our happiness is subject to ridicule. It normally goes like this…

banging head on wallSeasoned Couple – How long have you been married?
Us – Since January.
SC – Oh. You’re still newlyweds! When you’re married as long as we have been you’ll want your space…

And it goes on and on.

I appreciate input from others, I truly truly do. I can do something with input, but a comparison to someone else’s marriage I don’t understand. How can Why would someone compare their marriage to someone else’s? Anything said is without merit and has no ground to stand on. I can’t say I understand what they’re going through but I can learn from their experiences and experiences. Give me THAT, not downgraded comments about how my marriage will change to be just like yours. Why? It’s not like yours.

I don’t need to won’t defend my marriage but suffice it to say I am very confident that true open communication – the kind where important topics are discussed, not argued about – will aide my ring wearing days. No it’s not everything or marriages could take place online, in letters, or over the phone.

It is scary hearing couples say “Don’t tell them I told you this because they don’t know about the $$$ (rather large) debt still owed.” knowing they have other issues that will tear at their relationship. Stand together peeps, that’s a benefit being married – you don’t have to go through things alone.

Sure there are times when you’ll need that solo time and that solo adventure but your partner is there with you during the financial, health, family problems and so on that affect you both. You both know why you married each other right? Um… Right? If you can’t answer that question in any common way, uh, yea. Moving on.

pandpSo, here we go huh? “Telling me how my marriage should work GP?” I know, I know. I am ‘educating’ others. Actually all I’m offering is a suggestion or two on relationships in general. Take with it what you will. I don’t know, nor do I want to know, all the inner workings of anyone else’s relationship. I have plenty to think about here at 11o1. = )

Okay, with that I’m going to see what I can do with some WordPress template stuff while I enjoy the cool air on the patio with the kittens (and a spray gun). “Eh… Get away from the ledge.” )squirt(

1 Comment

  1. I LOVE this post!! Well said, I say…and will say again, WELL SAID! Every marriage is unique and comparision of one to another is most limiting and undermining of the capabilities that each person has and each couple has.
    I abhor and still abhor when people give me un-solicited advice about “my marriage”…as if they really knew.

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