This. Is. Not. A. Rant.
I say with the hopes of clearing the table for an honest purging of ideas. Let’s begin.
Last night at around 10:15 PM I received a phone call from a friend asking if I wanted to join him on a last minute adventure to D.C. to watch the Inauguration. I had been in bed for a short while and had apparently switched to “SLEEP. NOW!” mode because I said I had things I needed to get done the next day.
This was true but as I slept on the idea and after I awoke I was unhappy with myself. In a rant to emma I explained how I was disappointed in myself in that I didn’t join Marty. I said “I don’t want to be the old guy that doesn’t do stuff on a whims notice and that’s exactly what i did. Argh.”
emma was honest in her reply saying “i remember thinking, gary a few years ago might have gone…” What she continued to say is relevant to this topic but does not need to be said here.
We both knew something was amiss and recognized that something needed to be done. It’s not what either of us want but certain limitations will hold us for the time being.
I need to get out and do more things. I would not prefer it to be on my own but it is how it will/may be for the foreseeable future. It is not as though I have not gone out to do things. On the contrary I have tried to do as much as I could around the schedule that I walked daily.
For the past one and a half years my time has largely been in or around a theatre. It has been wonderful but now is the time to change that course.
I decided the other night that I am not going to audition for any main stage shows or readings at SLC this semester. I want and need to do my own thing. With no major rehearsal schedule in place I will be able to do more of the things I want to do.
Check.
Who to do these ‘things’ with is altogether different issue. Since coming to SLC/NY I have only found one person with whom I am able to be open and discuss all my interests. I hope it’s obvious who that is. If you don’t know, you don’t know me. Hint, read above.
Yep. It’s strange. I have not met any other XX or XY that I feel comfortable opening up to and/or willing to bring into the fold of my life. It’s a rather peculiar experience.
I fault nothing or anyone. It simply is. Is it my age? Is it my variety of interests? Is it my demeanor? I do not know. The simple truth is I have few people in the area with whom I choose/wish to hang out.
Friends I know in the area are busy or unreachable. Again, this simply is what is it. This is not a rant.
How do I/will I address this… Issue, situation, conundrum?
First things first. A public thank you to my friend Marty. You did not know what your random phone call would do for me. I’m glad you went to D.C. and I cannot wait to see the video footage your brought back with you. Thank you.
Step 2… emma and I talked and know that we have a very different type of semester ahead of us and so we will make the most of it together and apart.
Step 3… Get out and get active! I’ve already started the planning. On April 4th I will join a number of friends or go alone to a massive pillow fight in NYC. I will post details when I have them. For now I have all I need to know. A date. A time. A place. And an activity.
Step 4… Get the word out. I’m writing this for myself and for my friends and fam. If you’re reading this – Let’s get together. Just shoot me a message, ring me, etc.
Step 5… Maybe, just maybe I’ll start meeting some new peeps. Hey. It could happen. Maybe people I know will become people I know… Better. And vice versa. And maybe the people I know will know people. And maybe the people I don’t know will… Be… Come people I know. Who knows. =)
Step 6… I have no idea what I’m writing now. =D Seriously. I feel great knowing that I’m stepping forward in a number of ways. Life is a great and wonderful thing and it is at this time that I repeat to myself my two favorite quotes:
“Life is 99.9% what you make of it. So, if you’re life sucks… You suck.” Unknown
“Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.” Oliver Wendell Holmes
With those two ideas in my mind… Let it begin.
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